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Goodbye Old Friend………and ‘Frank’ly utter nonsense!!

10 months ago By Andy Maule


“Dowders back in his heyday - Even then he prudently advocated the wearing of protective head gear........a vain attempt to protect against hair loss which was ultimately doomed to failure!”

A few weeks ago sad times we’re upon us at Briz CC as one of our long standing members had to be humanly dispatched. Don’t panic I’m not talking about Spraggy – apparently he’s all good for what will be his 105th consecutive season at Briz next year!

No, I’m talking about an Oak tree down by Gunny and Nobby’s groundsman’s garage which had split into two following strong winds some weeks before, leaving one half of the tree still standing, leaning over the outfield.

The potential for the remaining tree to break meant that it needed to be felled before, heaven forbid, it should fall and pulverise someone’s little darling……….a Mitch or a maybe even a Malcolm (he said as if randomly plucking names from the junior signing on list :-D).


If the tree could have talked one can only imagine the tales it could have told and the cricketing heroics it had borne witness too down the years at Ironmould Lane…….more importantly the fruity tales and choice language it may have overheard as Simmo and Co. took one of their many regular Saturday afternoon jaunts around the boundary edge!

Watch the video for the enthralling (yawn) moment at which the tree finally succumbed to gravity courtesy of a dirty great chainsaw. Eagle eyed viewers may be able to spot a furry friend baling out from the top of the tree when it hits the deck. Unbeknownst to us ‘Frank the squirrel’ chose the wrong time and wrong tree to chill out in. This plucky little fellow then proceeded to do zig zags across the outfield, much like your average 4th team cricketer, before disappearing into the undergrowth………again, much like your average 4th team cricketer.

Apart from Frank’s surprise appearance the only other thing of note to appear was an antique cricket ball lodged in the upper boughs of the tree. Club folklore tells of how Ian Drooling* spanked it there for six big ones back in his pomp........circa 1873.

Viewers of the video may have also heard Nobby heralding the arrival of club legend Mr Derek Thomas (and the word legend is often banded about to often but not in this case……oh no!). Unfortunately, we were unable to capture Derek on video as his equity membership means we would had to have coughed up an appearance fee.

Indeed, Derek has just hot footed it back from an 8 week run of Bill Shakespeare’s ‘As you like it’ at the Playhouse Theatre, Llandudno. Thankfully for us when not hanging out with Sir Ian McKellan, Dame Judi et al, Derek also finds the time to mix and mingle with us common and lowly born folk here at Briz CC.

Anyway enough of this nonsense, to finish I’d like to put forward a motion. Surely it’s about time the club looked into changing the club badge and nickname. Don’t know about you but I personally for one have never seen a Stag or even got so much as a sniff of a Muntjac in the vicinity of the ground. So let’s stop this pretence of Brislington Stags and rebrand ourselves in time for our 150th anniversary celebrations next year. And in so doing we can also honour Frank the squirrel’s derring do!

So can I have a show of hands for Brislington Nut Smugglers…….all those in favour!

*All nicknames and derivatives of Ian Dowding’s name remain the intellectual property of Mr Neil Peacock esq.

Updated 17:54 - 28 Dec 2017 by Steve Whitemore

Where next?

Christmas Lunch at the Club Sunday 17th Dec 1.00pm for 1.30pm


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