First XI Match Report vs Bristol 2s (H) Saturday 13th August

Saturday came round and we were all ready for a scorcher. Some perfect preparation from the lads, cold showers, a few beers the night before and jelly babies for breakfast. I was hopeful to try and wrangle an early start, and even more so after conversations with one of our appointed umpires. Unfortunately, Bristol were set on 12:30, and after arriving at 11, they needed time for a warm up in the 40 degree heat. The Bristol captain was a very nice guy, alike to the rest of their side, but why would you not want to start early? For this reason the game was reduced to 45 overs per side, with guidelines and timings at the forefront of my mind. ‘Common sense’ was the term floating about, but personally I think it would be criminal to penalize a side for over rates in those conditions. We went round and round in circles before the eventual decisions were made, and by the toss came round I was still a bit confused as to what was going on. Then they won the toss and we were out there in the heat first, mint!
 
Anyway, enough of the ranting, we were not slow. We were actually very quick – out of the blocks and away by Slaloming James Riley and cheek puffing Josh Whitemore. A change of ends for the two allowed Josh some more bounce and trapped the opening Bristol batsman in front LBW without scoring. Great start for Duffman, fresh off his week teaching children about the sporting world. “ This week kids, I am going to show you how to give a really angry stare “. It was Mr Riley who was the man with steam coming out of his ears this week. After nicking off their other opening batter (2/2), we witnessed a 2013 Stuart Broad nick. As we celebrated what was surely James’ second wicket, the batter walked, and then hung around for a decision to be made. Afterwards, he informed me he was ‘the only person on the ground who got the decision right.’ I haven’t ever seen anything quite like it, but I was pleased with our ability to not be suckered into the fractious atmosphere. As JR dismissed another batter lbw, Bristol found themselves 10/3 and we were well on top. As little wiglet ran out of steam up the hill, we turned to the cricket wizard PK for another breakthrough. Number 3 from Bristol played him nicely, sweeping and diving against the spin through extra cover, in an innings where he was looking to make the most of his reprieve. Chris Bolton came down the hill after JR and was unlucky not to pick up a wicket in his first spell.
 
After 15 overs, Bristol were 64/3 and as we had our first drinks break we were on top. Then it was time for the miraculous Maule to return from his years out in the wilderness without cricket. He was on the receiving end of a bit of a mauling first over, as the opposition were quick to put away anything short. But – you can’t keep Prince Charming down for long! As he tossed one up, the batter flicked the ball hard to a grateful Milo at mid-wicket. The celebration was wild, the atmosphere electric. Had we just won the league? No. Is Ethan Maule back? Yes. 74/4. As we tried to keep rotating from the top end, Chris, Cam and then Milo had a go. It was the latter who had the most success, bowling with spin and greater control of  length. Keith ‘le Teeth’ then tossed another up, only for the Bristol player to run down the track and pick out the man who had just been sent out that ball PK in the deep. It was up there with some of our terrible shots this year, including some of my own which is saying something. 105/5. Then Milo had his rewards picking up two wickets in succession, both playing similar cricket to the man before them. As we went to another drinks break Jack was turning from medium to well done under the lid. Brainer was sweating like a gypsy with a mortgage. JR was 4 months early pretending to be Santa with his white beard.

Then there was a partnership. 8th wicket and worth 70, it was frustrating. At points we did think they may have reversed their order as number 9 played some excellent shots. Milo bowled nicely, PK returned well. Before Marchant de Wig came back and scuttled through his Yorkers. Chris also returned and bowled nicely, picking the wickets of both batters who formed that partnership. Falling one wicket short of max points was slightly frustrating, but Collin Fletcher got us the one we missed out on.

With the bat we started so well. I had a brain fade, shouldering arms to a straight one. Tough walk off, helmets were kicked. ‘My gosh that was a bad shot’ was probably also murmured in not quite so savoury terms. In came Parag, fresh off a ton the week before and looking assured as ever with the bat. He made a stylish 30 and out, a shame as it looked as though he was going to get many more. Marchant at 4, chopping on, rumours of retirement and more trembling of his bottom lip. Hero Munden at 5 and wow where did this guy come from? The flashing blade - the driving, the pulling, the manoeuvring of the field. This was all on a hangover, after JP’s funeral on Friday, a few beers were consumed. (Viscous rumours that FTM Nobby slept up the club). But Munds came and went for 33, with Brainer to follow shortly after for 36. The three who went for 30 all played well, and on a day like this after being out in the dirt and then having to bat it was hard to go on.

But then came the calm and the thunder. Both left handers, Jack and Milo had a lot of work on their hands to form a partnership to get us over the line - we were still 100 short. Going into the day Jack was in good form, and played his supporting role excellently. His rotation and defence assured. But the chase belonged to Little Miss Show Off. He played sensibly to start, respecting the good bowling and quick to put away anything off line. Then as he passed 50 he was in a hurry. The ball just kept going for six. Anything full, six. Anything short, six. It was something to watch. Even the very few that he mistimed went for boundaries. And he finished it in excellent style, pulling the ball over the ropes for six to finish 82* and a win for the team.

20 points overall, and a good day for the side. Let’s hope for more of the same this week away at Congresbury.

John Palmer POTM: Milo Ayres 82* and 2/23

For reference, I had written the first half of this match report before going on holiday. When writing the rest, I got a bit bored with reading it.